As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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