I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
