I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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