I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
