What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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