he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
