There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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