The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
