Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize