Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
