I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
