I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize