I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
