Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.

Fav 17 6265 1006
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth

Fav 26 1193 4907
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.

Fav 25 1261 4775
share tweet
(608): View more from Wisconsin

the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20

Fav 48 1444 6962
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(618): View more from Illinois

Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.

Fav 42 9812 1750
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward

Fav 10 3581 1136
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.

Fav 11 2844 1608
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

Fav 2 1187 579
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.

Fav 0 47 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT