Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The adults are the big ones right?
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