dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.