Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  please tell me if i'm home and in my bed

  (1-310): View more from California

  negative

  (310): View more from California

  come find me please

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  (310): please tell me if i'm home and in my bed (1-310): negative (310): come find me please http://tfl.nu/3ca4
  Replies (29) Good night (2367) Bad night (4752)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

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  (240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w
  Replies (44) Good night (17525) Bad night (1349)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.

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  (832): Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me. http://tfl.nu/ewf1
  Replies (26) Good night (4267) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.

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  (940): I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl (1-940): you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent. http://tfl.nu/wzvk
  Replies (47) Good night (2351) Bad night (6217)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.

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  (301): Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow. http://tfl.nu/rpb6
  Replies (37) Good night (2960) Bad night (4337)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.

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  (704): I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying. http://tfl.nu/un4v
  Replies (25) Good night (1458) Bad night (9877)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.

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  (540): hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one. http://tfl.nu/c556
  Replies (5) Good night (1805) Bad night (693)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.

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  (724): I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over. http://tfl.nu/3u0b
  Replies (7) Good night (1595) Bad night (659)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.

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  (202): Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox. http://tfl.nu/f55t
  Replies (3) Good night (1125) Bad night (802)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.

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  (248): For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance. http://tfl.nu/b72j
  Replies (5) Good night (901) Bad night (647)
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  (+81): View more from

  I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.

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  (+81): I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue. http://tfl.nu/z1d0
  Replies (0) Good night (344) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.

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  (512): Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss. http://tfl.nu/t3a0
  Replies (3) Good night (716) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?

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  (713): I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz? http://tfl.nu/17pr
  Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.

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  (302): Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose. http://tfl.nu/sote
  Replies (0) Good night (303) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad

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  (615): Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad http://tfl.nu/n2ij
  Replies (3) Good night (176) Bad night (559)

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