Got a toothbrush?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out