I need help removing her.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.