Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.

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  (520): i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how. http://tfl.nu/qfuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2619) Bad night (859)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'

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  (410): i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary' http://tfl.nu/vbb1
  Replies (15) Good night (709) Bad night (2645)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.

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  (860): Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium. http://tfl.nu/ptz9
  Replies (32) Good night (855) Bad night (5337)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.

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  (630): I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting. http://tfl.nu/uotz
  Replies (10) Good night (4732) Bad night (710)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.

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  (610): You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/p50o
  Replies (10) Good night (4830) Bad night (965)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.

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  (248): Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her. http://tfl.nu/h3i8
  Replies (8) Good night (2630) Bad night (1015)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?

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  (+44): Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones? http://tfl.nu/hoh3
  Replies (8) Good night (1710) Bad night (3891)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.

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  (709): It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me. http://tfl.nu/jsip
  Replies (11) Good night (878) Bad night (2804)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

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  (248): about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me. http://tfl.nu/tnbf
  Replies (9) Good night (4002) Bad night (1124)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die

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  (608): Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die http://tfl.nu/nuo3
  Replies (8) Good night (1636) Bad night (471)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.

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  (828): YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED. http://tfl.nu/ns1x
  Replies (11) Good night (1870) Bad night (1080)
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  (650): View more from California

  The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad

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  (650): The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad http://tfl.nu/ulr7
  Replies (7) Good night (678) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  That's what you say about everyone.

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  (404): I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system. (910): That's what you say about everyone. http://tfl.nu/s26k
  Replies (5) Good night (1048) Bad night (311)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.

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  (936): If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home. http://tfl.nu/6ayk
  Replies (3) Good night (880) Bad night (319)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?

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  (206): He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect? http://tfl.nu/9zhv
  Replies (4) Good night (637) Bad night (149)

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