Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
