the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
