I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
How's work?
Spinning.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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