idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
