He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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