He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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