then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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