You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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