if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
This baby is an asshole
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
