My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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