Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
