he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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