I got chris browned last night
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
