When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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