Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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