I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
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If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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