Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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