Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
