I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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