So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
