It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
