There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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