I looked at my own cervix.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
