I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
