Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
