I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
