i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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