Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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