Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
