Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i barfeds in our rink
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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