so that wasnt chicken after all
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
How's work?
Spinning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
