god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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