I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
