Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We just shotgunned beers for America
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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