thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
