So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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