I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
