FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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