get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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