Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
