so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
