This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
