So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
