You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
