At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
