I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
