He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
