lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
