Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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