Swine flu. Run for my life!
You can't special order awesome
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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