do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
