arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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