Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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