weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
