is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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