You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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