I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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