Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
